A new version of Monopoly is coming out — one without a Jail. Here is an article, titled “Monopoly is getting rid of jail to woo kids“. So, Monopoly is wooing kids. Hm.
Anyway, since 1) I thought it would be fun, and 2) I’m discovering the joy and convenience of lists, here’s a brief list of reasons that 1) merely subtracting the Jail space is not enough and 2) a rather simple addition or replacement would be preferable.
List of reasons why Monopoly should replace its Go to Jail space with a Sadly, You Died space:
1) Death is the great equalizer. Whereas not everyone goes to Jail in one’s lifetime, everyone dies. A somber truth. Also, no one knows when one will breathe one’s last, so this alteration to the game will serve as a beautiful albeit morbid metaphor. The best kind of metaphor.
2) The main reason for removing the Jail space is to make the game go more quickly. The inclusion of the Sadly, You Died space will make the game go even more quickly.
3) Death/Monopoly provides the natural yin to the game of LIFE’s yang. As it were.
4) Just think of the new Chance cards! ‘Get out of jail free’ would become ‘YOU’RE ALIVE AGAIN! … Wait, nope, you’re still dead. Pity.’
5) People who say ‘I’d rather die than play Monopoly’ … can have their cake and die too. By which I mean that they can have their cake and eat it too. By which I mean that eating cake while playing will make the game more fun for everyone.
6) The traditional game of Monopoly emphasizes the acquisition of capital, giving players the misimpression that the purpose of life involves purchasing properties and hoarding wealth as a means toward symbolic immortality. After all, the winner has traditionally been the individual with funds remaining, with the bankrupt players cruelly eliminated. Money can buy neither happiness nor eternal life. The Sadly, You Died space will remind all players that despite previous Monopoly games’ perverse idolization of economic inequality, death is the great equalizer (cf. point #1), and we might benefit from investing ourselves in things that truly matter and that last. And no, hotels on Boardwalk don’t count.
7) The singular of ‘dice’ is ‘die’.
8) This is starting to get morbid. Here are 1) a puppy and 2) a kitten, both of which are very much alive.
(Thanks to http://wildlife-photographs.blogspot.com/2013/02/kitten-latests-wallpapers.html for the levity and for raising these fine animals for the sole purpose of cuteness.)
Have a great week! And if you have ideas for future blogs, or would like to write a guest blog post while I get back to sleeping and studying, please let me know!
jeremyhasablog 